Ok, imagine the following situation:
A crowded office kitchen at lunchtime.
Employee A says to Employee B as she walks in:
"Oh my gosh! Look how chubby you are getting!"
And then, while the other employees laugh and giggle,
Employee A pokes Employee B in the said chubby stomach area.
Now, can you think of ANY circumstances in which this kind
of behavior is appropriate?
No?
Yeah, me neither.
Except, apparently when you are pregnant this kind of
behavior is totally normal. And for the life of me, I just don't
get it. There must be a glitch in the human brain that switches
off all tact and politeness when encountering pregnant women.
Normally, you would never comment on someone's appearance
except to compliment them, but for some reason people think it
ok to be harsh on pregnant ladies. The worst part is that as a
pregnant woman, you are already extra sensitive and hormonal.
And you are VERY aware of all the ways your body is changing, but
having someone point it out to you is way worse.
It seems that the public need to be reeducated in how to treat
pregnant women. I, of course, am totally up to the task. The following
are suggestions of phrases and things that ARE acceptable to say to
pregnant woman.
- Oh my gosh! Look at cute your little baby belly is!
- Wow! You look great, that pregnancy glow really suits you.
- Baby-making is treating you kindly, you look fantastic!
- Here, have a seat, you must be tired.
- Put your feet up and relax, you deserve it.
- Man! Pregnancy is really making your locks look luscious!
- Cute shoes!
And here is a list of things that are NOT ok to say to pregnant ladies.
- Wow! Look at how chubby you are getting!
- Wow! You are showing already?
- You look really worn out and tired.
- Look at how chubby your face is!
- Well, you can kiss your looks good-bye.
- Is your doctor ok with all the weight you are gaining?
Spread the message and let's try to reeducate the public.
Feel free to leave comments with other suggested phrases or
rude things that people say to pregnant women.
And be nice to a pregnant lady today.
What gets me is when total strangers find out I am having twins they start asking if I did fertility. Why would you ever ask a stranger about their conception? I didn't even do fertility and I find the question totally rude. Which is why when people ask when I am due or generic questions I just tell them and offer no further explanation on why I am not due for two months but look like I could explode any second :)
ReplyDeletePs if someone pokes you in the stomach again poke them back and ask when they are due.
Hey, I saw your blog on Facebook and had to comment on this! When I was 8 month's pregnant with my son my Grandma said, "You can totally tell your having a boy because your carrying all your weight in your butt!" Yikes! I was devastated and went home and cried for day's. There is a turning point in your pregnancy at about 8-9 month's where you go from feeling like an adorable pregnant lady to a beached whale. Add crazy hormones to that and those type of comments will send you over the edge :)
ReplyDeleteI totally get it. You're like a walking bullseye for annoying and tactless comments! I also hate how people think they can touch your stomach or ask if you're done or having more. None of your business please!
ReplyDeleteOk, so a few friends have asked me if the scenario I described at the beginning really happened. Yes it did. And it was mortifiying. I cried after it happened. I cried all the way home. When I woke up the next day, it was first thing that came to mind and I cried some more.
ReplyDelete