Witch doctor cures

Snot juice. Continue reading for the recipe.

Oh man. I spoke too soon in my last post about not being sick anymore. I literally woke up the very next day feeling like my head was going to explode. It was my sinuses (not exploding head syndrome, which is an entirely different thing altogether) and they were not happy. All my life I've thought sinus issues were a made up problem. Kinda like how women back in Victorian era would suffer from "nerves". But now, I'm getting my come-uppance for thinking that because me and my sinuses are getting very well acquainted. 

Obviously there are much worse things to have than just an ordinary head cold. The problem for me is that I had a bad case of pneumonia when I was 17 and ever since then every time I get a head cold it tends to turn into a bad chest cold which turns into either bronchitis or pneumonia. Since I just recovered from a bout of bronchitis two weeks ago I wanted to try to head this cold off before it could make its way down into my lungs. So I put out a request for some ideas from my facebook friends for natural remedies and I got lots of good ideas. Here's what I've tried so far.


-Essential oil, steams. Boil a pot of water and then add a few drops of eucalyptus and tea tree oil. Drape a towel over your head and breathe in the steam. I did this a least a dozen times. It felt great on my sinuses and helped clear things up momentarily.

-Essential oil, inhaling. Basically just sniffing the oils straight from the bottle. But sniffing is pretty much impossible when your nose is completely stuffed up.

-Essential oils, topical use. A few people suggested that I put oils on my face but my skin is very sensitive so I put it on the insides of my wrists and my throat instead. I didn't notice any effects other than all the cats in the house wouldn't come near me. Who knew essential oils are cat repellant?

-Essential oil, internal use. I put a few drops of Thieves into a capsule and swallowed it. Dang that stuff is strong! I could taste it even through the capsule. Also, another odd thing my sinuses do is they make one of my teeth hurt. I put a few drops of clove oil onto a q-tip and put it directly on the hurting tooth and the oil numbed it for several hours.

-Cayenne juice. My mil mixed up a cocktail of apple cider vinegar, ginger, honey, and cayenne. I had one sip of it and gagged. There was no way I could drink that stuff. We call it Dragon juice now, cuz it burns!

-Aloe vera juice. Another mixture from my mil. This time she mixed up lemon, honey, and aloe vera straight from the plant. This stuff is drinkable, it has a sweet but tart taste but the color is a gross brownish green so Brian named it Snot Juice. Lovely, huh? It is supposed to help with coughs but I think it would be better for sore throats because it really coats your throat.

-Mustard plaster. I got this idea from my friend Jamie. It calls for 2 tsp of mustard powder, 8 tsp of flour mixed with a little water to make it a paste. Then you spread it on a cloth and fold up up and put it on your chest. Even though the mixture doesn't come in contact with your skin it will feel hot and tingly. My chest was bright red after using this.

-Garlic. I have been putting this stuff raw on everything. You can probably smell my breath from China by now.

-Emergen C. I drank a few of these. I kind of feel like vitamin C is a good way to prevent colds but not necessarily a way to cure them. 

-Sudafed. Ok, it's not a natural remedy but probably the most effective thing I tried. After about three nights of no sleep I gave in a took one of these. I passed out about 20 minutes later and slept for 10 hours straight. It was every bit as glorious as it sounds.


You know what? Even after all this, I'm still sick.

Any other ideas?