Breaking up isn't hard to do

Dear Breastfeeding,

I think we both know it is over. I'm not exactly sure where we went wrong but I just don't think that we were meant for each other.

To be honest, I've always been slightly repulsed by you. But you eventually won me over with your promises of better health for Cheyenne, cheapness, convenience, and weight loss. I decided to give you a shot. I figured it would be rough for the first few weeks and then it would be smooth sailing after that. Boy, was I wrong. Not only did you go back on your promises (there is nothing convenient about sitting in a mother's room for hours on end, weight loss...yeah right) but you also really hurt me.

Now, I'm a committed type of gal. Once I decide to do something I don't give up easily. Despite all our problems I was willing to stay just for the sake of the kid. I sought advice from family, friends and even a few professionals. I joined online support groups. I may have even ventured into the self-help section of Barnes & Noble. But nothing was working. Finally, in a moment of pain and desperation I turned to Formula. Honestly, I didn't mean for it to happen. It was just a few bottles here and there so I could have a break once in a while. I thought I could juggle both of you. But I soon realized that I was madly in love with Formula.

It has been a week now since I met Formula. I've never been happier and neither has Cheyenne. I'm writing this letter because Formula and I have decided to become exclusive. So, adios Breastfeeding. Hopefully, you will learn from this and treat other women better.

Shawna

p.s. See how happy she is now?